Later this month, there is a ‘ladies of the family’ vacation happening. While my lady-ness may be in question . . . mostly because I talk like a sailor . . . they are nice enough to let me tag along. Probably because they are ladies and too polite to say no. They may regret this later. At any rate, we are taking my niece Sarah on the Disney Fantasy cruise ship. In my mind, this is a perfect set-up since I’ll be able to communicate with the sailors on board. We’re golden.
Here’s a little tidbit about kids I find fascinating: studies have shown that children up to the age of 8 have the same brainwave patterns as adults on hallucinogens. I’m not making that shit up. Google it. Plus, I’ve been around young kids, and I have to believe this is a fact. I’ve also been to art school, soooo . . . you get where I’m going with this. I’m totally comfortable around crazy people.
I’m not sure if ‘the ladies’ realize this, but what we are about to embark on is basically Burning Man for kids. It’s going to be a week long, fully costumed, colorful, loud, ass-kicker of a throw-down, only with showers and plenty of water we don’t have to barter for. Otherwise, the dirt and sand, imaginary friends, full-blown trip out tantrums, crying, tears of unbridled joy, stress about getting separated from ‘the group’, questioning reality, friendships believed to be forever while in the moment, and at times, a refusal to put one’s clothes back on . . . well, I see lots of similarities here.
For the record, I would never ever ever, get my sweet little Sarah jacked up on sugar, or let her stay up all night, or dye her hair bright pink, or let her write on herself with permanent marker, or not make her take naps (even though I will be). I WILL however, be a stickler about the fully clothed policy, because some people are creepy. Even on the Burning Man boat.
I try to be the cool aunt because, a. It makes me happy, and b. I need to believe that when I’m 110 and have totally lost the plot, that she will come visit me and hopefully dye my hair bright pink and jack me up on sugar.
I can only hope.
(playa name: Princess Potty Mouth Sugar Beet)